Ever stop to ponder the meaning of life?
Your purpose. The meaning behind the purpose?
I do...all the time. At least once a day.
In fact, it drives me kinda crazy sometimes.
My whole life, I've struggled with figuring things out. I make up my mind, just to have it changed. I'm pretty grounded, yet easily swayed. Open minded, yet black and white. Such a walking contradiction I am...I would never claim to be anything else.
Something that I've pondered a lot lately--the past few years actually--is why I have such a hard time keeping lasting relationships. Aside from my marriage...and a few close childhood friends, I seem to chase most people away. They like me at first. Find me to be nice and funny... easy to relate to... all that shallow on-the-surface stuff...
But when I show my human side--when I struggle, or need a shoulder--when I get angry, or sad, or feel hopeless...when I voice my opinion, when I stand up for something, or someone I care about-- I chase people away. They aren't ready for it I suppose.
People tend to put folks into little boxes, with labels. "This is a sweet girl, therefore she has no backbone."
If you are one thing, than how can you possibly be another?
I am many things though...just as you are.
I have another side...and then a whole other side too.... and then there's this side of me that you don't ever want to see (neither do I). There are things about me that you don't want to know...things that I am ashamed of. But then sometimes, I might have my shit so together that you hate me for that too...we can't win with each other, can we?
Yet we are always striving to. It's our human nature to seek understanding, yet the people you want it from the most, will likely never give it to you.
Stop worrying what your in-laws or so-called "friends" say behind your back...who gives a damn? Maybe they're right, but, they're not all right. Just as me, you've likely pissed some people off in your life, made others jealous, overstepped your boundaries, and said things you don't mean. Don't fret. You're just human...like the rest of us.
Do you like you? That's the important thing. There is always room for improvement, but to improve, you have to know yourself. And once you know yourself, you will improve while finding that what others think about you, matters less and less to you, because you know who you are, what you stand for, and your intentions.
The more you know yourself, the more accountable you will be for your own actions. And the more you will realize that it doesn't really matter what you or anyone else does, or doesn't do...people believe what they want to, you included.
Actions do speak louder than words, but ever-so-often, one bad action, thrown into years of good, is enough to turn people off to you. Let those people go, and if they wish to be a part of your life again, well let them back in.
We're all human. We all make mistakes. We all get it wrong sometimes.
Perhaps the meaning of life, is to just live, and learn.
♡♡♡♡
People tend to put folks into little boxes, with labels. "This is a sweet girl, therefore she has no backbone."
If you are one thing, than how can you possibly be another?
I am many things though...just as you are.
I have another side...and then a whole other side too.... and then there's this side of me that you don't ever want to see (neither do I). There are things about me that you don't want to know...things that I am ashamed of. But then sometimes, I might have my shit so together that you hate me for that too...we can't win with each other, can we?
Yet we are always striving to. It's our human nature to seek understanding, yet the people you want it from the most, will likely never give it to you.
Stop worrying what your in-laws or so-called "friends" say behind your back...who gives a damn? Maybe they're right, but, they're not all right. Just as me, you've
Do you like you? That's the important thing. There is always room for improvement, but to improve, you have to know yourself. And once you know yourself, you will improve while finding that what others think about you, matters less and less to you, because you know who you are, what you stand for, and your intentions.
The more you know yourself, the more accountable you will be for your own actions. And the more you will realize that it doesn't really matter what you or anyone else does, or doesn't do...people believe what they want to, you included.
Actions do speak louder than words, but ever-so-often, one bad action, thrown into years of good, is enough to turn people off to you. Let those people go, and if they wish to be a part of your life again, well let them back in.
We're all human. We all make mistakes. We all get it wrong sometimes.
Perhaps the meaning of life, is to just live, and learn.
♡♡♡♡
-L
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